Parenting ADHD & Autism

about 14 hours ago

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3 min read

☀️ How much brain space does your kid really have to get things done?

POSTSLINKS

Have you ever thought about how much mental demand it takes to do a simple chore like taking out the trash?

I kept telling my kid, "Take out the trash, please."

And he did. But he rarely finished.

By the time he tied up the bag and took it to the garage, he'd re-enter the house and think he'd finished. After all, he did "take out the trash."

But the mental load of all the steps prior to the garage (not to mention everything else going on in his life that day) zapped his executive function further and and left little room to remember the rest. I'd remind him to finish, and sometimes he blew up. Not because he was angry, but because he didn't have any cognitive space available at that moment.

Have you ever melted down when one more tiny thing was added and you didn't have the capacity for it? Of course, we all have. That's what our kids are experiencing a lot more than their peers and a lot more than we realize.

This week on the podcast, cognitive researcher Amy Moore is helping us unpack it all.

With so much heart,

p.s. — The Neuroeducation Symposium starts Nov. 14, and it’s free to watch. Day 2 includes a panel called On the Same Side: Building Parent Partnerships That Work. It’s about how parents and teachers can actually be a team for your child. Grab your spot hereNeuroeducationSymposium.com.

382: How Cognitive Load Can Show Up as Big Emotions and Behavior

with Amy Moore, Ph.D.

When our kids fall apart over one small task, it's rarely about that task. This week, cognitive psychologist Dr. Amy Moore and I talk about cognitive load: how too much mental demand at once shows up as big emotions and behavior, why "I won't" is so often "I can't," and how permission to do one thing at a time can lighten the load.

Upcoming RESOURCES

FREE TRAINING

Neuroeducation Symposium

Nov. 14-16

I’ve had full-body goosebumps a couple dozen times recording these sessions.

Join us for three days with 28 experts on how kids’ brains learn, remember and regulate, and what actually helps when school gets hard.

It’s built for educators, and it’s just as empowering for parents and homeschoolers. Most of these sessions could be life-changing for you, not just for the kids in your care.

It’s free and online Nov. 14–16. Early bird pricing on the Individual Pass ($77 for lifetime access) ends Wednesday, Nov. 4. You can also gift a pass to your child’s teacher. 🎁

COACHING PROGRAM

SIGNAL Parenting™ Program

Nov. 15 - Jan.14

If you know why the meltdowns or shutdowns happen but still feel lost when you’re in the middle of one, it's not you're fault. Knowing and doing are two very different things, especially when you’re running on empty and dysregulated yourself.

SIGNAL Parenting™ is an 8-week, science-backed coaching experience for parents of neurodivergent kids. It’s built on the SIGNAL Framework™, a nervous-system-first approach (the opposite of rewards and consequences) that walks you through how to respond when your child is struggling. You’ll learn to help your child feel safe, seen, and supported, and how to stay steadier yourself.

Each Sunday a short lesson (30–45 minutes) is released. On Thursdays we meet live to work through it together, so there’s very little homework. It’s $497 USD, payment plans are available, and the group is limited to 25 families.

When kids feel good, they’re able to do good. Parents too!

Registration closes November 13 at 12pm ET.

PARENTING QUICK TIP

One Problem or All of It?

When frustration starts to build, ask one simple question to find out what's really going on.

Ask, "Is it this one problem, or does it feel like you can't do any of it right now?"

If it's one problem, help with that piece. If it's all of it, pause the task and look for unmet needs like hunger, tiredness, noise, or physical discomfort.

Meeting the underlying need first helps the nervous system settle back into a state where thinking and learning are possible.

Whenever you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you trade escalation for regulation...

1️⃣ Use my free Behavior Decoder Tool​

2️⃣ Get personal parenting support through coaching​

3️⃣ Listen to more of the Beautifully Complex Podcast​

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Beautifully Complex

I help parents and teachers of neurodivergent kids trade escalation for regulation using my SIGNAL Parenting™ framework. Award-winning author of Boy Without Instructions and host of the Beautifully Complex Podcast. My core belief: behavior isn't the problem, it's the signal.

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