Has your kid ever said, "I'm so stupid" in the middle of homework? Or, "I'm a bad kid" after a meltdown? Or, "I shouldn't be alive" after a blowup with peers?
I can answer yes to all three sadly. I bet you've heard at least one.
You see, in the absence of an explanation, it's human nature to attach a story of self-blame, especially for kids.
When they can't get the homework no matter how hard they try, they assume they're dumb. When they had big behaviors that weren't who they want to be, they assume they're bad. And when they don't feel like they belong, they assume they have no purpose.
This is why I believe in sharing diagnoses with kids. Because, when we don't, they're going to blame themselves for all those struggles. No one wants that.
But talking to a child about their diagnosis feels tricky. We worry about making them feel worse, about saying too much or too little, or saying the wrong thing altogether. We worry that their identity will become the "label."
I have Drs. Katia Fredriksen and Yael Rothman, authors of the "Different Thinkers" children's book series on the podcast this week to address all those worries and much more about helping kids understand their diagnosis. They provide the what, when, where, and how. I hope you'll listen in.
With so much heart,
p.s. — SIGNAL Parenting™ Program registration is OPEN for the winter cohort starting Nov. 15. If you looked at the program before, look again now. I've made some changes to make it work better for you, including making it more affordable.
379: Helping Kids Understand Their Diagnosis
with Drs. Katia Fredriksen and Yael Rothman, Authors of the "Different Thinkers" Book Series
Without an explanation for why things feel harder, kids often decide they're the problem. This week, pediatric neuropsychologists Dr. Katia Fredriksen and Dr. Yael Rothman share how to talk with your child about their diagnosis, using their own words, honest challenges, and real strengths. It's a conversation that grows as they grow, and it can start today.
If you know why the meltdowns or shutdowns happen but still feel lost when you’re in the middle of one, it's not you're fault. Knowing and doing are two very different things, especially when you’re running on empty and dysregulated yourself.
SIGNAL Parenting™ is an 8-week, science-backed coaching experience for parents of neurodivergent kids. It’s built on the SIGNAL Framework™, a nervous-system-first approach (the opposite of rewards and consequences) that walks you through how to respond when your child is struggling. You’ll learn to help your child feel safe, seen, and supported, and how to stay steadier yourself.
Each Sunday a short lesson (30–45 minutes) is released. On Thursdays we meet live to work through it together, so there’s very little homework. It’s $497 USD, payment plans are available, and the group is limited to 25 families.
When kids feel good, they’re able to do good. Parents too!
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I help parents and teachers of neurodivergent kids trade escalation for regulation using my SIGNAL Parenting™ framework. Award-winning author of Boy Without Instructions and host of the Beautifully Complex Podcast. My core belief: behavior isn't the problem, it's the signal.