Parenting ADHD & Autism

about 13 hours ago

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3 min read

☀️ How to Stop Worrying About Your Kid so Much

POSTSLINKS

Two days ago my 27-year-old told me I'm a helicopter mom.

STILL?!?!?

I thought I'd stopped helicoptering like fifteen years ago. I worked really hard at it. I even wrote a blog post way back then titled "How I Gave Up My Helicopter Pilot's License."

How could this be?

I've thought about (almost) nothing else since this conversation. I do not want to be a helicopter parent, I know it holds kids back instead of helping them.

After two days of obsession reflection, I genuinely think she meant that I'm mom-ing too much for a kid in their late twenties. She told me so in those exact words yesterday.

My response?

Yes, I literally said it like that. Three times.

How do you turn off the mom instincts? I'm asking you, if you have adult children. I feel like I've been working hard at it, with little to no results. I've you've got a useful strategy, reply and let me know...

This week on the podcast, my guests are the authors of Base Camp Parenting, teaching us how to worry less about our kids, which actually helps them more. I knew I needed this conversation when we recorded it, now I realize exactly how much. If you're a worrier, I hope you'll listen in.​

With so much heart,

p.s. — One of the best things you can do for your child might be sharing this with their teacher. The Neuroeducation Symposium is free, Nov. 14–16, and it’s full of small, practical shifts that help every kid in the room, yours included. Send them to NeuroeducationSymposium.com.

381: How Worrying Less Helps Children More

with Susan Bauerfeld, Ph.D. and Chris Parrott, BPS CPsychol

Worry can feel like love, but it quietly pulls our focus inward, and our kids' nervous systems feel it. This week, psychologists Dr. Susan Bauerfeld and Chris Parrott share how to tell concern from worry, reset your own system in the moment, and become your child's steady base camp.

Upcoming RESOURCES

FREE TRAINING

Neuroeducation Symposium

Nov. 14-16

I’ve had full-body goosebumps a couple dozen times recording these sessions.

Join us for three days with 28 experts on how kids’ brains learn, remember and regulate, and what actually helps when school gets hard.

It’s built for educators, and it’s just as empowering for parents and homeschoolers. Most of these sessions could be life-changing for you, not just for the kids in your care.

It’s free and online Nov. 14–16. Early bird pricing on the Individual Pass ($77 for lifetime access) ends Wednesday, Nov. 4. You can also gift a pass to your child’s teacher. 🎁

COACHING PROGRAM

SIGNAL Parenting™ Program

Nov. 15 - Jan.14

If you know why the meltdowns or shutdowns happen but still feel lost when you’re in the middle of one, it's not you're fault. Knowing and doing are two very different things, especially when you’re running on empty and dysregulated yourself.

SIGNAL Parenting™ is an 8-week, science-backed coaching experience for parents of neurodivergent kids. It’s built on the SIGNAL Framework™, a nervous-system-first approach (the opposite of rewards and consequences) that walks you through how to respond when your child is struggling. You’ll learn to help your child feel safe, seen, and supported, and how to stay steadier yourself.

Each Sunday a short lesson (30–45 minutes) is released. On Thursdays we meet live to work through it together, so there’s very little homework. It’s $497 USD, payment plans are available, and the group is limited to 25 families.

When kids feel good, they’re able to do good. Parents too!

Registration closes November 13 at 12pm ET.

PARENTING QUICK TIP

Swap Worry for Wonder

Worry drags us into the future or the past and dials up urgency. Wonder is curious instead of threatened, which keeps your nervous system out of alarm and brings your attention back to the present, where your child actually needs you.

Change one phrase to change where your mind goes next:

  1. Catch yourself saying or thinking "I'm worried that..."
  2. Restate it as "I wonder if..." or "I wonder what..."
  3. Follow that wondering with one question about what your child needs today, right now.

Whenever you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help you trade escalation for regulation...

1️⃣ Use my free Behavior Decoder Tool​

2️⃣ Get personal parenting support through coaching​

3️⃣ Listen to more of the Beautifully Complex Podcast​

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Beautifully Complex

I help parents and teachers of neurodivergent kids trade escalation for regulation using my SIGNAL Parenting™ framework. Award-winning author of Boy Without Instructions and host of the Beautifully Complex Podcast. My core belief: behavior isn't the problem, it's the signal.

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