When my kid was in elementary school, the one thing that brought him a sense of confidence and competence was playing online games.
School was a struggle.
Making friends in person was a struggle.
Following our instructions was a struggle.
But, he was great at online games. It was easier to talk to kids in Minecraft than it was to talk to them at recess. The path to achievement was very clear in the games, and he excelled at them.
He was so good at them, kids would ask him for tips at school. It was the one thing they could connect on.
While I allowed this online digital play because of the way it made him feel, I did worry about it. How much is too much? What if the kids he's talking to are actually predators? How will he learn to navigate the "real world" if he spends so much time in fantasy?
What I learned over time, is that gaming isn't just escaping or goofing off. It's actually skill building, especially for neurodivergent kids. This week on the podcast, I talked to the author of "Parenting a Gamer," therapist Andrew Fishman about the questions I struggled with, which I imagine you do to. We talk about how much time, how to use games to build skills, social interaction, and so much more. Scroll down for the link or find Beautifully Complex wherever you get your podcasts.
With so much heart,
p.s. — Thanks to everyone who completed the survey on your needs. If you haven't and can spare a few minutes, I'd love for you to share what's working, what's not, and what you wish existed through the short survey here. This helps me know where the gaps really are, so I can create what I'm able to and advocate for what I can't.
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377: Parenting a Gamer
with Andrew Fishman LCSW
Therapist and author of "Parenting a Gamer," Andrew Fishman, helps us understand why gaming can actually be one of the safest, fairest places in a neurodivergent kid's day, plus he offers real safety tips and guidance on what to do when your kid won't log off.
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PARENTING QUICK TIP
When your kid melts down over stopping a game or putting away electronics, don't repeat the instruction and escalate your intensity. Instead, ask what's actually happening in that moment for them.
- When your kid resists stopping, pause before repeating "time's up."
- Ask calmly what's making it hard to stop right now. Maybe they're mid-round, almost at a save point, or something else.
- Respond to the specific reason instead of the general resistance, whether that means five real minutes to reach a save point or a plan for tomorrow.
A transition meltdown is rarely about defiance, it's usually an unfinished task or an unmet need, and knowing which one it is tells you exactly how to help.
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Upcoming Events
FREE ONLINE SUMMIT
The ADHD & Executive Function Summit
Oct. 5-11, 2026
Join me at the ADHD & Executive Function Summit hosted by Kristina Manning! This free, online event brings together 30+ leading experts in ADHD, parenting, and child development to provide expert strategies for:
- Creating a home environment that sets your child up for success
- Partnering with schools to secure ADHD accommodations that truly help
- Managing screen time while encouraging movement and play
- Picky Eating & Nutrition Support for ADHD
- Understanding and supporting your child’s sensory needs
…plus so much more, all from the comfort of your home.
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